If you’ve ever doubted yourself, walk deep into any forest. Notice how the trees still stand even though they are given no recognition. Walk along any stream. The water still flows, though no one stops to praise it. Watch the stars late at night; they shine without acknowledgment. Humans are just the same. We are made out of the same elements as these beautiful wonders. Always remember your beauty and self worth.
"I gave my three year old daughter some worthless coins, and jokingly told her that she was rich. She went and hid the coins away, and I forgot all about them. Around the same time, my oldest daughter got a bunch of money from her aunts and uncles for her birthday. A few months later, we needed money for food, and I asked my oldest daughter if we could use some of her birthday money. She refused. I almost started crying, because I thought then that I had completely failed as a parent. But suddenly, my youngest daughter appeared, and gave me back the handful of coins that I had given her."
(Mexico City, Mexico)
I have my second letter of recommendation confirmed! The last one is the scariest because I am incredibly intimidated by Andrea - she’s so classy, so prolific, and smart as a whip. I do have a back up, however her endorsement would really mean a lot to me because of how excellent I think she is and how well respected she is in the community.
I went to a writer’s conference to take in a seminar on writing for children this weekend with some friends from UFV and we got to talking about grad school. Neither of them could think of three professors who remembered them enough to write them a letter and I thought that was weird. I know I do anything but blend in, but once I learned I needed three letters I was like BOOM, John Michelle Andrea. These are people I look up to and respect, plus I feel like I had a standout connection with them as a student. I’m acutely aware that I love teachers (made obvious by the fact that almost every person that is important in my life is some kind of educator) but it just seems weird to me to pass by an opportunity to learn things from an expert in your field. Why not make sure they know your name? Strange indeed.
It is my absolute favourite feeling when things feel right. Continuing my education feels so incredibly right. There are no wishy-washy feelings about it. I feel confident that if I work hard on this application they will say yes to me and that part also makes me feel good.
One of my goals for this month was to finish a draft of my letter of intent, and I only have two days left to complete it. This is the one piece of paperwork they will get that’s from my own point of view talking about the project I want to undertake. It’s so important and I’m anxious as hell about it. I think it’s safe to say that I am anxious about everything these days. So many changes are happening and I don’t know how to articulate the level of stress I’m feeling - I spent time with excellent people a few weeks ago and couldn’t even talk start to talk about it all. Job ending, moving, big life stuff, grad school etc.. BLAH. They are all wonderful things, but the road to get to them will be fraught with tears and screaming into pillows.